Diffuse the situation quickly to avoid the argument getting out of hand or saying something in the heat of the moment that you later regret.
Focus on the event that has caused your anger rather than lumping together lots of different problems. You may do this to give your argument weight and legitimacy, but in reality it detracts from the actual issue you’re trying to work through.
It’s normal to want to hurt the other person as they have hurt you. It’s these things that are said in the heat of the moment that you’re most likely to regret later because you can’t take back what you’ve said.